Viva la Pura Vida

travel far enough away,

my friend,

and you'll discover

something of great beauty:

your self.

*source: cirque de soleil's program book for the show "O" circa '04*

Quote Unquote

whatever you think the world is withholding from you, you are withholding from the world.

- eckhart tolle, spiritual author & speaker

Soundtrack of Life

i love this song..."hard way" by miguel

"Hard Way" from Miguel's Debut Album "All I Want Is You". All Rights to this song and video belong to artist Miguel Jontel.

"i touched the guilt in your eyes as your lips begin to lie"

Quote Unquote

take chances, make mistakes. 

that's how you grow. 

pain nourishes your courage. 

you have to fail in order to practice being brave.

- mary tyler moore, actress

(source: the daily love)

Where is the Love...

i'm coming off one of the most difficult weekends of my life. a truth that i knew but obviously didn't want to see it for what it was got a bright light shone on it. no way to sweep this revelation under the rug and pretend it doesn't exist. no way to be able to talk myself out of the circumstance. no way to justify or defend someone's actions and behavior. the situation is what it is, and there's no turning back. no way to ever go back to what it once was or what i had hoped it could be.

i think one of the most painful things for a person to go through is to see a person's greatness and to believe in them and want them in your life only to realize the absolute truth of who they are, which is less than what you know you deserve and what you ultimately want for yourself. the quote "the minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for" rings so true for me in this situation. i settled...and boy did i ask for the rudest, most embarrassing, most humiliating, lowest situation i wouldn't even wish on my worst enemy. in what seemed like a flash...the dream, the image, the vision, the belief, the deference...gone.

to make matters worse, you know you can never be a part of their life again. because doing so is in essence condoning their behavior and openly welcoming more of the same. this person has now put you in the position to be the stronger one, because you have to decide for yourself what's acceptable and what's not...not just from them, but going forward in all of your relationships. and yes we all strive to be strong, but sometimes it's nice to feel vulnerable and surrender to another person. clearly, there's a thin line here that i need to explore and define for myself. in processing all of this, i came across this article from "the daily love," a site started by a guy named mastin kipp who is wise beyond his years. i thought he brought an interesting perspective.

http://thedailylove.com/bring-the-love/ 

one thing i know for sure is that none of us are victims. we each play a part in the circumstances/story of our lives. reflecting upon this particular relationship has made me question how i got here, what am i withholding from myself that i wanted so badly for this person to give me, what am i supposed to learn from this. am i full enough of the love that i so desperately want, am i bringing enough love to others in my relationships?

Independence

definition: freedom from the control, influence, support, aid, or the like, of others.
source: dictionary.com

freedom from other people's judgment, opinions, plans for you

freedom from our own judgment of ourselves

freedom from guilt

freedom from embarrassment

freedom from mistakes

freedom from bad judgment

freedom from self-destruction

freedom from pride and ego

freedom from dependency on people and substances

freedom from expectations

freedom from promises

freedom from validation

freedom from untruths

freedom from bondage

freedom from limited beliefs

freedom from past hurt

freedom from childhood wounds

freedom from setbacks and disappointments

freedom from despondence

freedom from anything outside of ourselves that does not reflect the beauty & purity within us

Quote Unquote

love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.

- robert frost, poet

My Life in Love

always crazy, always unbelievable, always tempestuous

always passionate, but never quite real as evidenced by the hollywood movie ending. juicy but devoid of substance. magical yet destructive. dreamy but ultimately painful.

a vicious cycle of unhealthy decisions, un-rooted expectations and turning point revelations and realities staring me right in the face. all along, these things were what they were, i just chose to see otherwise.

and in the end, i’m left with one thing....myself

and the hope that one day i will love me enough to expect only that which i deserve.

A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words

the gorgeous kerry washington at the 2011 bet awards

Quote Unquote

All is well. You did not come here to fix a broken world. The world is not broken.
You came here to live a wonderful life. And if you can learn to relax a little and
let it all in, you will begin to see the universe present you with all that you
have asked for.

- Esther Hicks, best-selling spiritual author and speaker.

Travel Inspiration

weather

we like it or not...

this is what we (new yorkers) have to look forward to...

source: weather.com

so...i can't help but reminisce about warm, sunny belize. i wish i could click my heels and open my eyes to sun, sand and ocean.

photog: brandis russell

Tuesdays at "TUE"

design by: kenya (robinson)

tomorrow and every tuesday at "tue," i'll be teaching a vinyasa-based yoga class in the months of may & june at om factory. come join me and "just breathe"...that's the only requirement. :)

i know for some, yoga can be intimidating.

here are answers to a few faq's.

what made you start doing yoga?

yoga was recommended to me years ago because i used to have major anxiety issues. i was at the university of virginia and had just been accepted into the mcintire school of commerce. my grades were slipping fast: the coursework was no joke, there was a great deal of required outside group project work, i was the head resident assistant for a first-year dorm, and i was pledging the kappa rho chapter of delta sigma theta sorority, inc. the pressure became too much for me. being the self-willed person that i am, i dismissed the recommendation and struggled through the stress without giving yoga a second thought.

i didn't take my first yoga class until i had graduated college and was living in cambridge, ma while in the cambridge publishing course (now it's the columbia publishing course). the scenery in cambridge was very beautiful and what i remember most was how "still" the area was. i randomly decided to take a class because i saw a studio by the campus. the rest is history.

from that point, i practiced here and there, not really sticking to a weekly or even monthly routine. but the seed had been planted. i left the publishing industry full-time to work as a freelancer while i pursued a career as a host/actor. movement and energy work were a fun part of my actor training at the william esper studio. at that particular time, i didn't grasp just how important breath work is not only to the craft of acting, but to the craft of living. in january 2010, i became a karmi at om factory at the suggestion of an actress friend who worked there. a karmi is one who volunteers a designated amount of hours each week in exchange for free yoga classes. by way of working at the studio, i was in the space physically and mentally to practice yoga more regularly. then this past february, i enrolled in om factory's teacher training program which has brought me to this point today.

what do you get from practicing yoga?

i think yoga is a great compliment to life. you can live your life without yoga and probably be just fine. but once you start practicing, you won't want to live your life without it. yoga makes life a little bit easier and more vivid. life becomes more crystallized. emotionally, you get more in touch with who you are and you're more honest about it. mentally, you feel good because you're shaking up those endorphins. physically, you're stretching and lengthening different parts of your body that aren't activated in regular day-to-day sedentary living (sitting at a computer all day, driving in a car, etc). however, the most beautiful gift of yoga is that you're giving yourself permission to "just breathe," something we hardly pay attention to or let ourselves indulge in as we run around tending to the business of our lives.

do i have to be really flexible?

no, not at all. in fact, you will become more flexible the more you practice. you don't have to show up as a contortionist. i used to run track&field and play field hockey as a teenager. i'm not nearly as flexible as i'd like to be. i'd venture to say i was the least flexible of all the girls in my teacher training program. i definitely felt vulnerable in this area in the beginning. the program has ended, and i'm still not that flexible! hopefully that'll evolve, like everything else. come as you are and notice the increased flexibility as more time goes by...within your body and outside how you move through the world.

how would you describe your yoga class?

this is a hard one because i just began teaching in march, so i'm still a newbie myself and testing out different learnings from my training. so i'm a work-in-progress. i like to incorporate a breathing exercise (pranayama) or color/energy work (chakras) at the beginning of class, move into the poses (asana) and then end with a nice cool-down (something a bit restorative).

how much is it?

$7 is the suggested donation. this is an open-level class perfect for everyone.

i hope this is helpful. please feel free to post additional questions in the comments section.

see you in class. :)

Quote Unquote

when you choose to follow your dreams, you must become the person your dreams needs for them to come true.
- the daily love

Come Flow with Me...

for the past 5 weekends, i've been in a yoga teacher training program at om factory here in new york city.  starting out i wasn't sure if i necessarily wanted to teach, i was more so interested in deepening my own practice.  since embarking upon the journey, i can't quite fully explain how amazing it's been thus far but i'll try.  i feel my hips starting to open up more along with my heart...which means i'm more connected with what's going on in my body.  i'm more honest with myself about my goals, dreams, relationships with people, and even more so...my relationship with myself.  some days are bright, some days are not so bright.  i can say for sure that i'm becoming more of me, grounding more into my being and for that i am very grateful.  that's what i think the main gift of yoga is.  it's a great companion on this unknown journey called life, a trusty friend who helps you navigate the way a little easier.  i'd like to share this gift with you.  come check out my class.  i'll be there every wednesday in march from 4-5pm.  

om factory

265 w 37th st b/w 7th & 8th ave, closer to 8th ave

17th fl

*class is donation-based 

the studio is beautiful as well as the community of people there who make it so.  

thank you amanda and holly as well as the other 14 goddesses with whom i have the pleasure of spending every weekend.  

check out om factory at

www.omfactorynyc.com

, on facebook and/or follow

@

omfactory

.

see you in downdog. :)

Quote Unquote

one of my favorite quotes this week:

between stimulus and response, there is a space. in that space is our power to choose our response. in our response lies our growth and our freedom.
-victor frankl, author of "man's search for meaning"

Happy Birthday Martin Luther King Jr.

I Have a Dream Speech Martin Luther King's Address at March on Washington August 28, 1963. Washington, D.C.

"Directing Actors" Workshop

One of the exciting projects I'm working on is with writer/director Ela Thier.  I'm a writing student of hers as well as her casting director for The Independent Film School.  I'm fortunate to be able to see casting from the other side of the table, i.e. what stands out when looking at other actors' resumes, which headshots really stand out, how actors handle the communication process, what's deemed as prepared vs unprepared, and the list goes on.  I especially take pride in being able to give my opinion and suggestions for how to make the process a more positive one for actors since I usually share the actor side of the table.

Our upcoming workshop will help directors create a safe, inspiring and creative environment that will only support actors in their quest to bring truth to their work.  If you're an actor or a director interested in learning more, visit http://www.theindependentfilmschool.com/directing_actors.html.  Also check out Ela's work and words at www.elathier.com.

Quote UnQuote

Very few people possess true artistic ability. It is therefore both unseemly and unproductive to irritate the situation by making an effort. If you have a burning, restless urge to write or paint, simply eat something sweet and the feeling will pass. - Fran Lebowitz, writer

Meet: K(Rob)...The Artist Formerly Known as Kenya (Robinson)

Last week, I received a call from my good friend Kenya.  In short, Kenya is an artist.  In long form, she's an installation artist, a writer, a painter, a designer, a performer, and the list goes on.  She invited me to perform with her in her latest show called "Displaced Threshold."  We (Kenya and myself) were the worker bees constructing a runway of mirrors for model Isis (from America's Next Top Model).

The best part about this performance was that it was completely improv, which I usually shy away from.  She instructed me to take a look at her artist statement or as she refers to it..."performance score" and come with a pair of sneakers.  I showed up, and we just let it flow.

Check out pics from "Displaced Threshold" here:
http://kenyaworkspace.tumblr.com/post/2380957795/check-the-some-of-the-images-from?ref=nf

Check out K(Rob)'s "Displaced Threshold" performance score here:
http://kenyaworkspace.blogspot.com/2010/12/displaced-threshold-performance-score.html

Gratitude

Today is Turkey Day, and I've been spending the whole day back home with my family.  There are so many things to be grateful for this year.  All of my family members are with us and are healthy for the most part.  My grandmother is 95 and three-fourths and as sharp as ever!  It's quite amazing, she's better at remembering names and the turn of events than I am.  In fact, half the time I can't keep up with her stories and have to ask about 10 follow-up questions for clarity. 

At dinner, I got the biggest chuckle because she lit up showing us everything she's "collected" from her assisted living home that the other residents don't use.  She pulled out from her bag of goodies: tea, tissues and cereal.  It was funny to see her in action...a cross between an auctioneer and your local street hustler.  She's extraordinarily skilled at not wasting a dime (read: cheap...oh er uh i meant fiscally responsible). 

Me, on the other hand...I've been admiring my new calgel manicure that I got yesterday before leaving the city - $78 of pure fabulosity.  New obsession alert!  Especially since I'm prone to nail biting, peeling, picking when random thoughts, what ifs, and "i need to's" visit me and I find myself spirally down into the land of anxiety.  Check out http://www.nailspasakura.com/.  If you ever take a visit, see Leela...she's the bomb diggity.

So on this day, I'm thankful for many many things but especially my family, my Grandma, and my fresh glittery calgel mani.  Happy Thanksgiving!